If you’ve ever been through a loss, you know how hard it is to see the world around you go on as if nothing happened. It’s even harder when the person you lost was close to you and loved by many. The grief of losing someone can feel like a dark cloud that consumes everything else in your life, but there are ways to help support those who are grieving. Here are some simple things that anyone can do when faced with this kind of tragedy:
Acknowledge the losses
It is important to acknowledge the losses that your friend is experiencing. It is not necessary or helpful to ask “how are you doing?” because they may not be able to answer this question truthfully at first. However, it is important that they know that you are there and care about them. Sometimes people feel like they should be happy and instead of being sad all the time, but these feelings don’t always go away right away. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. If someone was very close to someone who died and misses them very much, then it can take longer for them to adjust back into their normal life without missing their loved one so much anymore or feeling guilty about being happy again without them around anymore either (if there were bad feelings between).
Ask questions
When you’re with someone who’s grieving, it can be hard to know what to say or do. One way of making a positive difference for them is by asking questions. You don’t have to wait for them to ask for your help; just ask what they need from you. Ask how you can help, and offer some suggestions if you have any ideas in mind. Ask what they need from you to feel better; this will help direct your actions and make sure they are getting exactly what they need from the interaction. It might be comforting if someone sits next to them while they cry or works through their feelings alongside them as they try out different approaches (like writing in a journal). The best way for someone else who isn’t grieving themselves but cares about the person who is grieving is probably going through life together at whatever pace feels right—this means being patient with each other and accepting differences in how people grieve without judging each other for those differences
Leave care packages
A care package is a thoughtful gift to give someone who is going through something difficult. It can be given to someone experiencing the death of a loved one or other types of loss, such as the end of a relationship or job loss. You can make a care package by collecting items that your friend or family member might need at home—like toiletries and food—or things they’ll want while they’re out of the house, like nail polish and magazines. The purpose of a care package is twofold: firstly, it’s an opportunity for you to show how much you care about someone else; secondly, it’s an opportunity for them to remember what they’re going through by seeing what’s inside the box!
Send texts
Let’s say you’re going to go out of town for a weekend. You might not be able to have coffee with your friend for a few days, but you can still stay in touch. Texting is a great way to connect with people when it’s too inconvenient or uncomfortable to talk on the phone or meet up in person.
Do the little things
What would make you feel good right now? A back rub, a glass of wine, a night out with friends? Do that for someone who’s grieving. Don’t worry about whether it’s the “right” thing to do (there is no such thing). Just do it.
Be awkward and specific.
A person who is grieving is often on an emotional roller coaster. Offer to help with tasks that they might find difficult, but be specific about what exactly you are offering to do. If you offer to help with a task that they don’t want or need help with, it will only cause them more anxiety and frustration. If you’ve never cooked before but want to make dinner for your friend who has just lost a loved one, offer instead to pick up takeout or even just bring flowers over if they aren’t in the mood for cooking right now. A grieving person needs others around them as much as possible during this time so try not to leave him alone too long at a time – even if he seems okay when he’s with other people, chances are the loneliness and sadness can creep back up on him at any moment and he’ll need someone there for support again soon enough!
Parallel play
When you are with a grieving friend, sometimes you may feel like you want to do something to help. But often the best thing you can do is just be there and be present with them. Embracing your feelings of awkwardness and helplessness. It’s okay if you don’t know what to say or how to help; in fact it might be better not to try too hard because then your friend will have an opportunity to see that she doesn’t need extra support from anyone else but herself at this time in her life.
Say their name
When you see a person who is grieving, say their name. If you are talking about them, or referring to them, say their name in a way that acknowledges them as a person and the loss they have experienced. When someone has suffered the loss of someone or something important to them (including an animal), it can feel like they no longer belong anywhere in this world. You may be tempted to avoid saying their name because you don’t want to remind them of what they’ve lost—but remember: You are helping your friend or family member by reminding him that he has been replaced by someone else (even if only temporarily).
Let them be sad
You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to fix it, make it better or make them feel better. You don’t have to be a therapist or doctor. You just need to be there and allow the person their grief, which they need in order for their healing process to begin. This is especially important if you are someone who has been close friends with this person for a long time, or even married into your family as in my case. Other people may not understand why you’re unable to “just get over” what happened or why they’re still grieving months after the death of someone close—but that’s their problem, not yours!
You don’t need to be perfect, just present. The most important thing to remember is that you don’t need to be perfect. Just be there with the person, and let them know they’re not alone. It’s important to remember that grief is a process. You don’t need to be perfect; just be present and supportive. These nine ways will help you support your grieving loved one.
